


What is an End but A New Beginning?

by IvyCpher



Category: Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby (2013)
Genre: Confessions, Crying, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Trans Jay Gatsby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:48:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26623171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvyCpher/pseuds/IvyCpher
Summary: Jay confesses to Nick that him and Daisy are finally through, that she preferred him more before he figured out he was a man than now. Nick also confesses something, his love for Jay.
Relationships: Nick Carraway/Jay Gatsby
Comments: 8
Kudos: 94





	What is an End but A New Beginning?

It was the morning after one of Gatsby's parties. Nick had stayed the night- not intentionally, he had fallen asleep in one of the quieter rooms while waiting for Jay to get through talking to Daisy so he might talk to Jay himself. So when he woke up with the bright sun in his eyes and his body sore all over from sleeping in an armchair all night, he was quite confused.

The mansion felt empty, or really the buzz of the previous night's party was far gone and the place felt deserted of life. Then again, whenever Nick visited Jay that's how his mansion usually felt. He stood up, his back cracking as he did so and looked around. Now that he wasn't being over stimulated with music, the presence of other people, and alcohol he could see that he was in a little room off the library.

Yawning into his hand, Nick left the room and the library. Out in the hall, he could see that the mansion was a mess of confetti, half empty glasses, and other things that were obvious signs to anyone that there had just recently been a great shindig of some sort. He even spotted two mismatched women's shoes somehow hanging from the chandelier as he made his way further down the hall in search of Jay. The sight of the mess confused Nick, usually Jay's butler and other staff were quick to start cleaning as soon as Jay's parties came to a close, but the mansion was messy as Nick had ever seen it and he hadn't spotted a single member of Jay's staff as he searched the massive house.

Finally, when Nick stepped into the parlor he spotted Jay. He was cleaning up the place himself, tossing whatever trash there was around him into a metal can. He didn't seem to spot Nick though, and seemed off as he cleaned up. He was muttering to himself and his hair was disheveled beyond compare, a clear sign that he'd been at his nervous habit of running his fingers through it. He was without his suit jacket and his dress shirt was a wrinkled mess. Jay had his shirt rolled up to his elbows and the first few buttons were undone.

For a moment, Nick watched Jay, wondering what could leave him in such a state, but when he went unnoticed he announced himself. "Gatsby?" He asked, tentatively, stepping into the parlor.

It was at that that Jay looked at Nick. He stopped what he was doing and rubbed at his eyes like there was something in them, "Old Sport?" He asked softly, taking a step towards Nick. "What are you doing here? I thought you left."

Up close Nick could see the faint, puffy bags under his neighbors eyes. Jay looked like he hadn't slept all night. "I was waiting to talk to you last night and must've dozed off." He shrugged softly.

"What?" For a second, Jay looked confused but then groaned. "Oh, Nick, I'm sorry." He gently slapped his hand to his forehead, his shoulders slumping. "I completely forgot. I just-" He looked around them and shook his head, "Things didn't go well with Daisy last night and I suppose I lost track of things."

Nick gave Jay a sympathetic glance and bit back a sigh. Despite Daisy being his cousin and him and her getting along fairly well- Nick didn't like the thought of her and Jay together. Not because he didn't want Jay to be happy, but because he knew what Daisy was like. He knew that despite what Jay thought and everything he did that he could never get Daisy to love him like she used to. "That's alright, Jay," He said gently. "You want to talk about it?" He reached out and put a hand on Jay's shoulder.

Giving a short glance at Nick's hand on his shoulder, Jay nodded softly. "I'd appreciate it." He sighed, looking toward the streamer covered sofa not too far from them.

Together they went over and sat down on the sofa, not bothering to pick off the streamers. There was the respectable distance of a single cushion between them but Nick was itching to move close to console Jay with how beaten up he looked. He didn't, however, and sat there quietly waiting for Jay to open up.

Jay sat with his head in his hands for a second, staring off at something in his mind's eye. "It's not the same." He said finally, looking at Nick. "She said it herself, Old Sport.  _ It's not the damned same."  _ He shook his head, looking closer to tears with each second. "She seemed- God, she seemed bored the whole night no matter what I did for her." Jay hesitated and covered his eyes with his hand.

Hearing how Daisy didn't appreciate Jay's affections towards her made Nick's blood boil. Before him was a man who everything he had ever done had been for a single woman. A single woman who it seemed only ever wanted to play with his heart. Nick opened his mouth to say something when Jay took his hand off his face, tears visible in his eyes.

"Nick," Jay breathed, "She said she preferred me before. When I was-" He glanced down at himself, his voice quieting. "When I was a woman."

It was at that moment that Nick could not hold himself back no longer; he quickly moved forward and wrapped his arms around Jay, pulling him into his chest and holding him in a tight hug. His mind was racing and he couldn't think of what to say as Jay sobbed into his chest. It seemed that there was so much and nothing to say all at once.

Jay Gatsby was a man surrounded by rumors, but none of them would ever be close to the truth about who he was. He was a man, yes, but he had been born a girl. Nick had found that out one day when he had accidentally walked in on Jay changing clothes. He saw the odd scars on his chest, scars that looked too precise to be from an old war injury. And at first Jay was besides himself with anxiety, but once Nick got him to calm down, he slowly explained what the scars were and what they meant.

Nick wasn't bothered by the scars, or that Jay wasn't born as a man. In his opinion, Jay was more of a man than anyone else he knew. He was his best friend and- Nick was hopelessly in love with him.

"Daisy-..." Nick began, trying to pick out the right words as he rubbed Jay's back. "Well dammit, Jay," He whispered, "Daisy doesn't know anything. There are other people who know you and love you the way you are now- and who you  _ really are.  _ Don't sell yourself out to a girl like her when she can't appreciate the man you are."

Slowly, Jay looked up at Nick. His eyes were pink and his face was wet with tears. He looked at Nick carefully, almost like he hadn't seen him before. "Nick…" He said softly, his hands were around Nick's middle. "Nick, who  _ else? _ "

Taking in a deep breath, Nick hesitated. "Me, Jay." His voice was quiet. "I- I love you and I'm tired of seeing you treat Daisy like royalty when she doesn't treat you half as good. Jay-" He moved a hand from Jay's back to cup his cheek. " _ I  _ want to be the one to treat you well, I want to treat you better than she ever did or will."

Jay's eyes widened as he looked at Nick and for a second he smiled, "God, I was hoping you'd say that…" Then suddenly, he was kissing Nick and Nick was kissing him back.

Kissing Jay Gatsby wasn't something that Nick had thought he'd ever get to do but he damn well wasn't going to complain about it.

The kiss was brief and when they pulled away from each other, Nick could taste Jay's tears on his lips. They stared at each other, uncertain but smiling all the same.

"You- really like me, Nick?" Jay asked quietly. "As a man, even?"

Slowly, Nick nodded. "Yes, yes I do. And you-?"

Jay nodded, his smile growing. "You're… You're the best friend I've ever had, Old Sport, I only think it fitting to be in love with you too."

"But what about Daisy?" Nick found himself asking. He regretted the words as soon as they left his lips.

Looking away, Jay hesitated. "I think we're at a standstill. She- well she hasn't outright said it but I think she prefers a more feminine company… And I'm not in the position to provide her with that." He sighed, gently sitting up and running a hand through his hair. "But, I must admit, while you helped me try to gain back her attention my own focus was drifting to you."

Nick felt his face grow warm. It had been painful helping Jay in his endeavors of gaining Daisy's affections once more. Each time he saw him with her, he wanted to be the one in Daisy's place. But he still helped Jay, he helped him because Nick wanted to see him happy. "Do you… Plan to talk to her?" He asked slowly.

Biting his lip, Jay looked back to Nick. "Truth be told, I don't think she'd talk to me again if I didn't talk to her first." He closed his eyes for a second, "I think she ended it last night, or as much as she knew how to at least."

Staying quiet, Nick wasn't sure what to say. Daisy and Jay had more or less ended things and he had confessed his feelings to Jay and they were returned. He thought he should feel happy and he did, but he also didn't feel happy. Jay had just lost what little of a relationship he had with the woman whom he loved the most, the woman who preferred him as a woman rather than a man. While Nick was happy, he also felt sad for Jay.

Nick dropped his hand to Jay's knee, "I'm sorry." He admitted. It was true, he was sorry. Because even with as much as he knew Daisy was wrong for Jay, he still knew that Jay loved her. "We can talk about it later if you want, but for the moment being… I think you really ought to get to bed." He smiled softly, "You look like something the cat dragged in."

Jay laughed and the sound of his laughter bouncing around the empty room made Nick feel better. He looked down at himself, "You're not wrong," He sighed. "God, I am tired. Will you-" He slowly looked up at Nick. "Will you stay with me, Nick?" He asked, grabbing his hand off his knee.

Nick nodded, "Of course, I'll be around. I'll stay here and-" He gestured around to the mess that was the parlor, "Clean up some. Where is everyone, anyways?"

"Oh-" Jay groaned, standing up. "I was so hot headed last night that I gave Benny and everyone else today off." He eyed the mess wearily. "Bad decision, I'm no good at cleaning. 

"Well don't worry about it. I'm sure you and me later can finish off some of this mess together." Standing up too, Nick hesitated before gently touching Jay's elbow. "Get some sleep."

Jay turned to Nick and smiled softly, "Thank you, Nick. For- for everything."

"Don't mention it."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm like the only TGG fic writer who calls Gatsby Jay.
> 
> Anywho! Don't know where this idea came from but TRANS GATSBY RIGHTS!


End file.
